Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God... (Moroni 5:23)

Today was a painful reminder at how fragile life is. I am writing this post from a room at Primary Children's Medical Center. Here is the story- I laid Eden down for a nap at the Browns house today. We'd just gotten into UT late last night. We're visiting during James's Christmas break. I decided to lay her on the bed because the pack n' play was being used. She has recently started rolling all over the place though, so I put a little toddler air mattress on top of the bed and laid her in it. It was partially deflated, which I initially thought was perfect because she wouldn't be as mobile, and wouldn't be able to roll off the bed. I swaddled her, left the room, and didn't think twice about it.

Partway through her nap I snuck in to get some of my clothes out to take a shower. When I came back into the room, about 20 minutes later, I noticed she had rolled onto her stomach. I thought about rolling her back onto her back so she could breathe a little bit easier, but disregarded the thought. I usually make it a habit to never disturb a sleeping baby. I put some things away and tidied up a little bit and just as I was leaving, decided to roll her onto her back, even if it meant waking her up.

I will forever be grateful to the Lord for putting that thought back into my head because when I rolled her over, her face was blue. She had been slowly suffocating and I had no idea. I quickly unwrapped her swaddle, and fortunately the color returned to her face and I could see that she started breathing. I yelled like crazy for James to come help me. He came and held her but she was completely unresponsive. Her eyes were unfocused and drooping and she was completely limp. She didn't snap out of it so I immediately called 911. James gave her a priesthood blessing and we waited. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life.

Once the paramedics got there she was still very lethargic and limp. She slowly started coming out of it and by the time they checked her vitals, she could focus her eyes and interact much more like her usual self. Her vitals were stable, but her oxygen saturation was low- like 75%. They told us she needed to be looked at by a pediatrician at Primary's. They said they always recommend you use the ambulance to drive there, but said they would feel comfortable if we just took her ourselves since she was acting so normal.

We gathered up our things quickly and drove down. She had an x ray and a blood test, and as far as we know she is doing great. They still wanted to watch her overnight though, because it took her so long to recover from the scary event. So we are here at primary's right now, just counting our blessings that she's doing so well.

Throughout this experience, I couldn't help but think about the families in CN, and how much they must be hurting to have lost their little kids. I've also been thinking about my friend, who recently lost her baby boy. I'm so sad for them while at the same time so relieved and that we were spared that loss. I'm so grateful that I can still change her poopy diapers and listen to her shrill little cries. James said it well- today Eden was in the Lord's hands. I'm so glad He let her stay! I know that even (or especially) when you have difficulties, the Lord shows us His tender mercies, which we received in abundance today.