Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Mommy life

   One of my favorite sayings is "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."  I really do believe that.  Today was a more difficult day for me though.  I have been feeling like a complete mess lately with my kids, especially Eden.  I have no idea what to do with her.  About 50% of the time, she has some major issues with eating.  I can't get a full feeding in her because she'll arch her back and scream and cry when I try to feed her like she is in pain; which means that I have to feed her again in another hour or so.  I feel like telling everybody that I will not be dependable for the next year.  When we are at home, it is fine.  I can get Eden to sleep in her own bed and on somewhat of a schedule.  The problem is whenever we go anywhere.  First of all, I can't seem to be on time for anything. It is so frustrating to me, because (although you would never know it) I really do put a lot of effort and energy into trying to plan ahead and get to places on time.  The other problem is that whenever we finally get to where were going, after about 20 minutes (at most) Eden is fussy.  That wouldn't be that big of a problem is she would eat, but then after like 5 seconds of sucking, she is done and still won't eat.  Here is what I've tried- gripe water, gas drops, cutting out chocolate, milk & gluten from my diet.  Nothing has made a huge difference so far.

  That was a lot of venting, but after 4 months, it really does start getting to me.  The Lord is probably trying to teach me a lesson for when I get critical or annoyed at anyone who was ever late.  Having a newbord can be very humbling.  I thought I knew what I was doing-- I don't.                      
    So on that note, I decided to try to focus on the things that I am doing- even if they are small accomplishments. I learned how to French braid today. I've been meaning to learn for about the last 10 years. Finally did it. Here is a pic of my 1st French braid worn out in public.

  

4 comments:

  1. I love how real you are!! I'm so sorry about Eden. Hopefully things begin to turn around! GOOD LUCK!

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  2. Stace, you are a trooper! I am so sorry things have been so difficult/confusing with Eden. You are seriously amazing for sticking with it and for sacrificing things that you love (chocolate, bread) in attempt to figure out the problem. What a serious challenge. I pray that things will start getting better soon, and that you figure it out. And, okay your french braided hair looks amazing. I love your up-do's lately. Love you, girl.

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  3. Stacey! First, I'm so sorry about your scare. My heart was racing and I was tearing up. It's impossible to know when something that normally would be fine could be life threatening! I'm so glad Eden is okay.
    When my first was born he did that while eating. I tried until he was two months old to nurse him. I tried nursing him standing up, laying down, all the different holds, and he just wouldn't do it. He would scream and scream. I still don't know why he did that, but after two months of him screaming every time I tried to nurse him (I started supplementing with formula after the first couple of weeks because I knew he wasn't getting anything to eat) I just went to all formula. It wasn't worth it to me for me to be stressed out ALL THE TIME. It was better for him and me. I don't know if she's okay drinking bottles or not, just wanted to share. I love you!

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  4. I'm sorry that Eden is having so many issues with eating. Have you talked to the pediatrician about reflux? Clara had it and it seems like Eden is displaying many of the symptoms. Arching back, not taking a full feeding, etc. If that's what she has, the meds for it are a dream. Feeding was great after we were on them. Anyway, I hope you find something that works!

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