This is the jist of a long text conversation with my friends- mom problems! Greatful for good friends! Sometimes you just need the advice of a friend more than anyone else!
K girls I could use your wisdom when you have a chance to respond. The high that I mentioned was short lived. I seriously feel like I'm going nuts at times and am on the verge of either tears or lashing out at my kids or James at any moment😝. I just don't know how to take care of the kids/myself/house/etc. Pretty much I'm a total psycho path right now. I want to be in a better place emotionally. I probably would have felt this way in az but I had you guys and Ali to vent to, where I felt understood. Plus James' schedule was totally easy compared to what he's working now.
Here I really like the girls but don't feel comfortable enough with anyone to vent honestly yet. I feel super insecure about venting to people about how overwhelming my kids are to me. And here is why... bc I don't want to vent about the kids just to (voluntarily) get pregnant again in like a year. I also don't want people to look at me (also the inner critic looking at myself) and think- she's a complete mess and has guilted herself into having more kids, but doesn't even want them.
Because in reality I do want a big family and think the craziness of this stage will be well worth the effort. And want to be a healthy person. Obviously I'm having an inner struggle and am curious to hear ur thoughts/advice. I'm pretty sure I know what my family would say and don't want to worry my mom, bc next thing I know she'll fly out here. Lol. And only a complete loser would vent to Ali right now.
This is late, but its what helps me avoid/survive/overcome my psychotic episodes. I loved ur ideas, btw mere!
-scripture study -essential- Usually I listen to the lds scripture app (bc usually when I try to read my scripts in the morning I fall asleep)
-Exercise- another essential one
-preparing meals/things ahead of time so I'm not too preoccupied with finishing stuff
-going to bed early and getting up before kids
-Avoid being in a hurry (brings out the monster in me)
-Figure out a way to make weekends and holidays special for myself and kids when James works (going out to eat, dollar theater, etc)
- have more fun with my kids- realize that if I don't enjoy them when they're little, I'm going to regret it big time later on. Also pretend like someone else is in the house with me so that I control my tone of voice and stuff with them
- when I totally blow it and lash out, try to be humble enough to apologize immediately. Also apologize to Heavenly Father and pray really hard for extra help...Then, if possible, put myself in time out, and lock the kids out of the house or in their bedroom. Or lock myself in my room. Or tell kids I'm not allowed to talk to them for X amount of time.
